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edit: not so happy. they are now giving me a headache.


Jun. 27th, 2006 11:24 pm
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France 3
Spain 1

honking, shots fired into the air and cool breeze blowing through the window in my room.

i am happy.
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Who knew a sleepless night + heartburn = productivity?
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I almost got ran over crossing the street today and it didn't phase me. Living on this intersection makes you jaded. It surprises you when you've gone through the day without a near death experience.

I want to state that my friends suck in one way or another. They don't return my calls, do favors for me - when they clearly can and refuse to because "they are tired," or answer their phone at 2 in the morning. If I call you at 2 in the morning, it means something big is going down. For example: I COULD BE DYING, be in the hospital, thrown in jail, kidnapped, etc. I've made only one such call and it was because I had a fever at the time that was not brought on by anything whatsoever and I was scared. When I ask for a favor, such as a ride to lab when I'm 30 minutes late and my life depends on me attending lab, I expect them to help me out if they can. Excuses such as, 'I'm sweaty and I can't,' make no sense to me. I would and have done these kinds of things for them. Isn't there an understood friendship law where friends do things for each other when they are in need? It all comes down to them not caring, clearly. I am beyond frustrated. All of this leads me to question myself as a person. I call, I make efforts to talk to these people - you know, general upkeeping of friendship type things, and it makes no difference. Where am I going wrong?

Wei's back in town (why is he all of a sudden back in school??) and he hasn't called to tell me so. He didn't call me to tell me he left for Taiwan either. So much for that friendship.

I need more/new friends. Suddenly having no dependable friends in this city scares and depresses me.

Non-local friends need to be closer to me. I miss them dearly.
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had dinner with wei, lilia, nathan and bryan in (at?) the spur of the moment. went shopping, bought will and grace dvd season 2 and my fair lady (yay). made curry, had it (yumm), and afterwards we headed out for the swings. found the swings on 45th (shyde park?). had a swing war and ended up with bruises on my knee and thigh-buttocks. brutal sport.

revision of this post today. an extra long one since i didn't post one the day before as e pointed out.
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i will post a full entry sometime today (first time in 4 months), but i must get this off of my chest now:

i dislike with a passion (i suppose it's hate?) people who don't speak with correct grammar.

i hate hate hate it when you're with a group of friends, it's late and one friend goes off to talk on their cell phone for hours. and because you're their ride, you have to wait for their ass to finish so you can go home to catch up on some sleep.

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is it weird going out with two bestfriends who like you?
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shopping at heb with han lasted 2 hours.. all cause of the south beach diet...or something. thinking about it going on it.
sourdough jack with cheddar bacon wedges, yum. last night of bad eating. for them at least.
ooo-ed and awed at toys and presents. enjoyed the slinky way too much.
made jello shots. which tasted like the color BLUE.
watched loads of tv.
played spy hunter, oooo.

= an evening of fun fun fun.
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my head's going to explode. i've had a wonderful night. lots of talking, lots of bitching, lots of everything. i haven't had a night so filled with.. i don't know, in so long. i'm feeling so alive.

feels good.
must post tomorrow.
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so it's been forever since i've updated.

had great spinach salad and spaghetti with garlic bread over at han's.
watched predator with brandon.

watched frida with mark the night before. super.

feel like i'm drunk with sleepiness.
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Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

mostly true except i lose my motivation all the time.
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what is this, a fun house mirror? i could use the truth here. scratch that.... lies. tell me lies, oh magic mirror!
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to further avoid my massive amounts of work, i've decided to update. there is so much pressure in my head that it feels like it is going to pop like a balloon. i've been in school for about 4-5 weeks now and things aren't going as i planned. i've been doing miserably. a week ago, i had 4 midterms, my relationship with david ended abruptly, and my car got towed. it's enough for anyone to contemplate suicide or running away. well, maybe just more of the later - i'm not a big fan of suicide. i'm seriously at the end of my rope, just fed up with everything and drained of energy, something is bleeding me dry of... something. i feel like nothing will get any better... really just hoping it would slightly.

wow. writing this all down isn't helping. everything seems so dark. i can't shake off everything and go on like i usually do.
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What Is Your Battle Cry?

Striding amidst the candy store, carrying a mighty sword, cometh Bellechose! And she gives a cruel cry:

"I'm going to fuck you so hard, your pets won't recognize you!!"

Find out!
Enter username:
Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

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as i was sitting by the pool today, watching grey clouds float by as sun rays showed through the gaps, i mumbled, 'i just don't know what to do with myself' and hannah broke into song. that made my day, amused me greatly.

i really honestly don't though.
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i'm up late again, only tonight i'm up because my hair is still wet from my late night shower. i've been meaning to update but i've been busy driving the last five weeks to houston and just this last weekend to mcallen. so little has been going on in my life lately. my chem lab course is coming to an end (which i'm so ecstatic about). there hasn't been a day that has gone by that i haven't let out a groan and expletives just thinking about the weekly lab reports i have to write up. most of the labs have been disasterous with the exception of our very last lab which i worked on with cherilyn and sara. i've made a few friends in the class - keeping them as long term friends doesn't seem like it's going to happen but at least we had some good times laughing at our mistakes and talking about our prof (who might be russian and not scandinavian like i first thought). we don't see or talk to her that often but she is a kind person if you look past the blank stares and cold demeanor. she scared the crap out of me one time when she popped right over my shoulder asking my group if we had figured out the reaction mechanism. this turned into a large class lecture and grill session. i wonder if she's teaching other courses, she absolutely cracks me up.

more tomorrow.
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i want to buy the new ikea signal red slip cover for my klippan sofa but i don't know if i should. i already have a lily purple cover, but i would so enjoy a red one!

hmph. i need a job/internship.
bellechose: (Default)

My pickup line is:
Hi, I find you very attractive.

Want my number?
what's your pickup line?
| hey, baby.

you are direct, forward, and confident, and are looking for someone who, like you, dislikes the playing of games.

...not so much forward or confident. when it comes to something like this, the other person has to make the first move. ay, i see why i'm still single.
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