Random 3:30 AM Entry
Apr. 4th, 2006 03:28 amI almost got ran over crossing the street today and it didn't phase me. Living on this intersection makes you jaded. It surprises you when you've gone through the day without a near death experience.
I want to state that my friends suck in one way or another. They don't return my calls, do favors for me - when they clearly can and refuse to because "they are tired," or answer their phone at 2 in the morning. If I call you at 2 in the morning, it means something big is going down. For example: I COULD BE DYING, be in the hospital, thrown in jail, kidnapped, etc. I've made only one such call and it was because I had a fever at the time that was not brought on by anything whatsoever and I was scared. When I ask for a favor, such as a ride to lab when I'm 30 minutes late and my life depends on me attending lab, I expect them to help me out if they can. Excuses such as, 'I'm sweaty and I can't,' make no sense to me. I would and have done these kinds of things for them. Isn't there an understood friendship law where friends do things for each other when they are in need? It all comes down to them not caring, clearly. I am beyond frustrated. All of this leads me to question myself as a person. I call, I make efforts to talk to these people - you know, general upkeeping of friendship type things, and it makes no difference. Where am I going wrong?
Wei's back in town (why is he all of a sudden back in school??) and he hasn't called to tell me so. He didn't call me to tell me he left for Taiwan either. So much for that friendship.
I need more/new friends. Suddenly having no dependable friends in this city scares and depresses me.
Non-local friends need to be closer to me. I miss them dearly.
I want to state that my friends suck in one way or another. They don't return my calls, do favors for me - when they clearly can and refuse to because "they are tired," or answer their phone at 2 in the morning. If I call you at 2 in the morning, it means something big is going down. For example: I COULD BE DYING, be in the hospital, thrown in jail, kidnapped, etc. I've made only one such call and it was because I had a fever at the time that was not brought on by anything whatsoever and I was scared. When I ask for a favor, such as a ride to lab when I'm 30 minutes late and my life depends on me attending lab, I expect them to help me out if they can. Excuses such as, 'I'm sweaty and I can't,' make no sense to me. I would and have done these kinds of things for them. Isn't there an understood friendship law where friends do things for each other when they are in need? It all comes down to them not caring, clearly. I am beyond frustrated. All of this leads me to question myself as a person. I call, I make efforts to talk to these people - you know, general upkeeping of friendship type things, and it makes no difference. Where am I going wrong?
Wei's back in town (why is he all of a sudden back in school??) and he hasn't called to tell me so. He didn't call me to tell me he left for Taiwan either. So much for that friendship.
I need more/new friends. Suddenly having no dependable friends in this city scares and depresses me.
Non-local friends need to be closer to me. I miss them dearly.
(no subject)
Apr. 13th, 2004 03:23 amhad dinner with wei, lilia, nathan and bryan in (at?) the spur of the moment. went shopping, bought will and grace dvd season 2 and my fair lady (yay). made curry, had it (yumm), and afterwards we headed out for the swings. found the swings on 45th (shyde park?). had a swing war and ended up with bruises on my knee and thigh-buttocks. brutal sport.
revision of this post today. an extra long one since i didn't post one the day before as e pointed out.
revision of this post today. an extra long one since i didn't post one the day before as e pointed out.
(no subject)
Apr. 10th, 2004 05:13 pmi will post a full entry sometime today (first time in 4 months), but i must get this off of my chest now:
i dislike with a passion (i suppose it's hate?) people who don't speak with correct grammar.
i hate hate hate it when you're with a group of friends, it's late and one friend goes off to talk on their cell phone for hours. and because you're their ride, you have to wait for their ass to finish so you can go home to catch up on some sleep.
bah.
i dislike with a passion (i suppose it's hate?) people who don't speak with correct grammar.
i hate hate hate it when you're with a group of friends, it's late and one friend goes off to talk on their cell phone for hours. and because you're their ride, you have to wait for their ass to finish so you can go home to catch up on some sleep.
bah.
the doctor is... a bitch.
Jan. 13th, 2004 02:24 amshopping at heb with han lasted 2 hours.. all cause of the south beach diet...or something. thinking about it going on it.
sourdough jack with cheddar bacon wedges, yum. last night of bad eating. for them at least.
ooo-ed and awed at toys and presents. enjoyed the slinky way too much.
made jello shots. which tasted like the color BLUE.
watched loads of tv.
played spy hunter, oooo.
= an evening of fun fun fun.
sourdough jack with cheddar bacon wedges, yum. last night of bad eating. for them at least.
ooo-ed and awed at toys and presents. enjoyed the slinky way too much.
made jello shots. which tasted like the color BLUE.
watched loads of tv.
played spy hunter, oooo.
= an evening of fun fun fun.
(no subject)
Nov. 12th, 2003 11:33 pmMAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
mostly true except i lose my motivation all the time.
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
mostly true except i lose my motivation all the time.
(no subject)
Oct. 5th, 2003 03:47 pmto further avoid my massive amounts of work, i've decided to update. there is so much pressure in my head that it feels like it is going to pop like a balloon. i've been in school for about 4-5 weeks now and things aren't going as i planned. i've been doing miserably. a week ago, i had 4 midterms, my relationship with david ended abruptly, and my car got towed. it's enough for anyone to contemplate suicide or running away. well, maybe just more of the later - i'm not a big fan of suicide. i'm seriously at the end of my rope, just fed up with everything and drained of energy, something is bleeding me dry of... something. i feel like nothing will get any better... really just hoping it would slightly.
wow. writing this all down isn't helping. everything seems so dark. i can't shake off everything and go on like i usually do.
wow. writing this all down isn't helping. everything seems so dark. i can't shake off everything and go on like i usually do.
(no subject)
Aug. 9th, 2003 03:55 ami'm up late again, only tonight i'm up because my hair is still wet from my late night shower. i've been meaning to update but i've been busy driving the last five weeks to houston and just this last weekend to mcallen. so little has been going on in my life lately. my chem lab course is coming to an end (which i'm so ecstatic about). there hasn't been a day that has gone by that i haven't let out a groan and expletives just thinking about the weekly lab reports i have to write up. most of the labs have been disasterous with the exception of our very last lab which i worked on with cherilyn and sara. i've made a few friends in the class - keeping them as long term friends doesn't seem like it's going to happen but at least we had some good times laughing at our mistakes and talking about our prof (who might be russian and not scandinavian like i first thought). we don't see or talk to her that often but she is a kind person if you look past the blank stares and cold demeanor. she scared the crap out of me one time when she popped right over my shoulder asking my group if we had figured out the reaction mechanism. this turned into a large class lecture and grill session. i wonder if she's teaching other courses, she absolutely cracks me up.
more tomorrow.
more tomorrow.
(no subject)
Aug. 8th, 2003 02:03 amWant my number? |
| mewing.net. hey, baby. |
you are direct, forward, and confident, and are looking for someone who, like you, dislikes the playing of games.
...not so much forward or confident. when it comes to something like this, the other person has to make the first move. ay, i see why i'm still single.