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[personal profile] bellechose
I almost got ran over crossing the street today and it didn't phase me. Living on this intersection makes you jaded. It surprises you when you've gone through the day without a near death experience.

I want to state that my friends suck in one way or another. They don't return my calls, do favors for me - when they clearly can and refuse to because "they are tired," or answer their phone at 2 in the morning. If I call you at 2 in the morning, it means something big is going down. For example: I COULD BE DYING, be in the hospital, thrown in jail, kidnapped, etc. I've made only one such call and it was because I had a fever at the time that was not brought on by anything whatsoever and I was scared. When I ask for a favor, such as a ride to lab when I'm 30 minutes late and my life depends on me attending lab, I expect them to help me out if they can. Excuses such as, 'I'm sweaty and I can't,' make no sense to me. I would and have done these kinds of things for them. Isn't there an understood friendship law where friends do things for each other when they are in need? It all comes down to them not caring, clearly. I am beyond frustrated. All of this leads me to question myself as a person. I call, I make efforts to talk to these people - you know, general upkeeping of friendship type things, and it makes no difference. Where am I going wrong?

Wei's back in town (why is he all of a sudden back in school??) and he hasn't called to tell me so. He didn't call me to tell me he left for Taiwan either. So much for that friendship.

I need more/new friends. Suddenly having no dependable friends in this city scares and depresses me.

Non-local friends need to be closer to me. I miss them dearly.

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bellechose

June 2006

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