Apr. 5th, 2003

bellechose: (Default)
well, i've finally found time to sit down and write, but there's so much to say that i don't really know where to begin. today was another typical day. i was ditzy again in french class and i have a feeling that everyone in class thinks that i'm retarded. the prof called on me unexpectantly to read a sentence while i was zoning out and i read it perfectly but then i had to answer if it was vrai ou faux. in the typical lisa fashion, i said the opposite of what i meant to really say and looked so foolish in front of everyone. it was some inane sentence like 'les etudiants mangent moins bien que leurs parents' and i was like '...faux...?' i'm constantly doing that and i mentally kick myself everytime something like that happens. it's just a small thing but it still kills me. i have to learn how to forgive myself for these things. why the hell does this happen though? i mean, everytime i encounter someone new or get called on in class, my mind freezes and i become an idiot. ah well, guess it's just another thing i have to work on like being able to walk around my apt bare footed without cringing.

calculus was a bore (as usual). my prof (who i wonder is married or not - i always wonder about these things for some reason) is so hilarious sometimes. he forgets what he's doing right in the middle of problem and stops to stare at us for about 5 minutes and mumbles something self depricating while he tries to get his berings straight. he said today, 'what's the use of drinking coffee if you're awake *and* dumb.' he's not exactly a bad teacher but i can't seem to do well on any of his exams. the questions on the exam are never like anything we've done before! i've already failed one and i'm pretty sure i failed the last one too. i'm so afraid that i'm going to fail the course and have to repeat it D: man, i'm so fucking frustrated with it. merde.

the rest of the day was just meh. after my classes, i decided to drop by the blanton art museum that's across from my art hist lecture room. art never ceases to amaze me. i could really stay in museums forever just staring at the paintings and etchings. my whole body tingles and shivers run up my spine everytime i look at artwork. i stood in front of a matisse and picasso etching and my heart was beating soo fast. oh what it would be like to be an art major! of course i want to also major in french, architecture, art history, and of course microbiologie. there's just not enough time. :I

ranting over for now. my bed beckons me.

dammit

Apr. 5th, 2003 11:52 pm
bellechose: (Default)
i think i might owe explorica 810 dollars for not cancelling my trip to germany. what the fuck.

merde.

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